Perhaps it’s a condition peculiar to the lone-worker, the stay-at-home parent and someone who spends acres of time on their own but I have a lot of time to daydream and wonder. All I have to do is meet occasional deadlines, keep appointments, take the children to where they need to be on time, walk the dog and manage the day-to-day running of the household. I mostly play a supporting role for my family and occasionally shut myself off to edit or proof read a book. There can be extremely busy periods but I’m not standing in front of a classroom trying to keep children engaged, or rushing about a hospital saving lives, or running a busy cafe. Nor am I pouring over the minutia of legal documents in order to defend someone in court. What I’m trying to say is that my life is, at the moment, rather undemanding. Don’t get me wrong, I’m rarely twiddling my thumbs; there is always something to do in the house or garden but I do go through periods when I wonder whether I’m really frittering away my time. Should I get back to a ‘career’ or retrain to do something more worthwhile and useful? Why am I not perfectly content? (I know I’m lucky to have the luxury of even pondering this issue.) Sometimes I feel totally unsettled and frustrated and I wonder whether it’s because a) I live in this point in history when there is SO much information about others’ lives, b) I have high expectations of myself and am my own harshest critic, or c) I just need to get over myself and get out more!
If I did have an uber-demanding job, however, I would have far less time for blogging. Lynda wrote something about the power of writing her blog yesterday and it struck such a chord with me. My blog is a brilliant creative outlet. Being able to write, take photographs and share them and connect with other bloggers is hugely rewarding and it’s become very important to me. I know I occasionally bang on about how much I love blogging but I do. On those occasions when I’m feeling particularly fed up with sorting laundry or cooking the same flipping meal again it has saved my brain.
Anyway, back to earth… I’ve not been spending all my time pairing socks and contemplating my navel. I have been enjoying the spring sunshine and beauty in the garden (photos above, thank you) and attempting to be organised in the greenhouse, potting up like mad and keeping notes (yes, actual notes in a notebook!) of how many of each plant, plus notes of where it would be good to have more bulbs next year. There’s a gap in a drift of ‘Pheasant’s Eye’ narcissi and I’d like more N.’Thalia’ – beautiful, white, multi-headed, graceful. And more tulips. You can never have too many tulips.
Oh, and the village Spring Show at the weekend went exceedingly well. There was a record number of children’s entries, which the organising committee was particularly chuffed about, and plenty of gorgeous spring blooms and home produce. My son’s Victoria sponge won the coveted £20 prize but he graciously gave a fiver to his sister for helping him assemble his cake. All is now sweetness and light between them. My entries weren’t so successful but there’s always next time…
I do hope you’re having a good week and that the sun is shining where you are.